Hi, my name is Kadee Todd. My husband’s players know me as Sweet Wife or SW. A nickname my husband has given me and has now passed on to his coaching buddies and athletes. I am a junior high science & robotics teacher. My husband is the head girls cross country coach and head girls basketball coach at Bland Independent School District in Merit, Texas. Most people measure their marriage by how many years they have been married but coach’s wives measure it by how many seasons they have been together. I have been by my coach’s side for six seasons and have been a coach’s wife for four seasons.
How did you and your spouse meet?
Fittingly, my coach and I met in a gym. It was his first official day as a coach at his first teaching job, he was helping out with the school’s volleyball tournament. At the time I was in college home for summer break making some extra money by officiating volleyball games. We were introduced in passing, and to be honest I didn’t give it much thought after that. Fast forward to a year later, same coach and same volleyball tournament. We talked more that day than we had the year before, that is when we really hit it off. It wasn’t until I was home for Christmas break a few months later that we start dating. I went to “watch my cousin” play basketball, knowing they were playing my coach’s team. With perfect timing, I had just walked into the gym when coach rounded a corner and spotted me. I can remember the surprised look on his face before he smiled as he stopped dead in his tracks. Later that night we went on our first date and haven’t stopped since.
Tell us about your team.
We made our first move this year when we both got offers we couldn’t refuse. Luckily, our new schools are only a few miles apart.
My husband coaches at a 2A school with no football or volleyball making basketball the main sport at the school.
This was our first year with girls teams. in the past, Coach had been head boys basketball, he had coached girls in cross country and track but never basketball. It has been an adjustment for sure but the girls were so committed and hardworking. It really was an incredible year.
What was your most memorable moment?
I have two moments that really stick out as the most memorable moments we have had so far. The first was during the 2015 cross country season. My coach worked so hard with his teams to get them ready for the regional meet. The boys team had a chance to qualify for state but it was going to be a close one. Getting to be there the moment my coach and his team found out they had qualified for the state meet is a memory I won’t soon forget. Then to add to the experience, it rained the entire week that the state meet was scheduled. The boys had to run in so much mud that very few runners stayed on their feet the whole race. We were all covered in mud at the end of the day and had to rinse off in a stream!
The next huge moment was also in the 2015-2016 school year. During the basketball tournament coach’s school hosted, we made it to the championship game after winning a close game in the semi final round. It had been almost 20 years since our school had won the tournament on the boys side. We ended up winning the championship in overtime by 9 points in front of a packed gym.
What was your worst moment?
I think our worst moment came this last basketball season. The girls worked harder with more determination than I have ever seen a team work. We had a really good preseason, making it to the championship game in two of our three tournaments and taking home a trophy from all three. But unfortunately our luck ran out in district. We came up short by just a few points in so many games. We even took the district runner-up team into overtime in the first round. Sadly, we didn’t make the playoffs. My husband and I were so torn up about missing the playoffs. The girls had been working and improving since July when my husband took over the program and although we had a great season overall, their hard work didn’t payoff the way we wanted it to.
What tips can you provide other spouses?
As hard as it is, try not to take things people do or say about your coach or team personally.
What are three things your experience as a coach’s spouse taught you?
- Commitment is the ONLY Option.
During the season, our husbands only think about their sport and their athletes. That is just the way it has to be. If they do not show that they are bought in all the way how could they expect the same commitment from their players? I have found that, if as a family we all go all in for the team it really helps, not just at home but it really seems to impact the players as well. The athletes really notice that not just their coach is bought in but their whole family too. The way I try to do this is by giving the team a little treat before each game. It may just been a gatorade or a piece of candy but I always try to personalize it with their name or number. The players think it is so great and awesome that the coach’s wife would take the time to do something just for them.
- Keep Your Head in the Game.
When things get tough during the season remember your role. Remember your coach has to keep his composure for the team and sometimes that means his frustrations and disappointments bleed over into your home life. Give your coach space or let him talk it out, whatever it is he needs. Even though you are probably just as disappointed or frustrated after a loss or a bad game it is our job to be the support he needs to be able to go to practice the next day with the mentality that allows him to make the team successful.
- Coach’s Make an Impact.
Our husbands really make a difference in the lives of these athletes. Most weeks during the season our husbands spend more time with the athletes than the students spend with their own family. They have the unique opportunity to instill values that will benefit the players past the court or the field into their life after high school. Think about some of your best memories from high school, they probably have something to do with a sport or other extracurricular activity you participated in. Our husbands will be a part of those memories that the athletes will look back on fondly for many years.
What advice do you have for other coaching spouses?
Embrace the crazy! The coach’s wife life is a roller coaster ride but seeing your coach celebrate in those high moments makes this crazy life worth every moment.
Thank you, Kadee! I always love reading stories from fellow coach’s spouses. How many of you agree when Kadee says, “most people measure their marriage by how many years they have been married but coach’s wives measure it by how many seasons they have been together”???
Thank you again, Kadee, for sharing your uncommon life as a coach’s wife.
The Uncommon Wife.